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Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
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Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the number-one best-selling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood.
Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good!
Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy."
Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up."
Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life."
Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 4 hours and 23 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Hachette Audio
Audible.com Release Date: March 4, 2014
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B00I0D9YVK
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
Chelsea Handler has once again compiled a book of personal essays about her family, friends and love life...and it is hysterical! Her stories are so outrageous that one would think she's making them up and maybe she is, but I don't care!From the first chapter where Chelsea talks about her childhood and the first time she gets “the feeling†I was crying with laughter. She tells stories about her father, her boyfriend who she likes to play pranks on, and how one time she helped wheel a woman passed out on a chaise lounge up to a hotel room. These stories are just too good to be true.Chelsea really knows how to write towards her audience. She is witty, hilarious, and just plain fun to read. There is not a set plot line, so the reader can jump from chapter to chapter without missing anything important. She has also included hilarious photos that were taken during these times, which helps prove that these stories are somewhat true!I've read this book several times and each time I laugh just as hard as the last. I would recommend this book to anyone who knows of Chelsea Handler, doesn't mind a little vulgarity (and by little I mean a lot), and adult humor.
A lot of the book seemed to focus on her relationship with Ted, her boss/ex-boyfriend. This, to me, is where a lot of the humor seemed to be wasted and loss because her relationship seemed riddled with issues because they were complete opposites. Perhaps some found humor in it but to me the strain and tension really came through her accounts of their differences and interactions. Also, I felt the essays/stories that took place during her childhood or early 20s seemed to be the least funny. To me, the childhood stories, including self exploration, wanting a cabbage patch doll and then getting high in her 20s just seemed to try too hard to either be shocking or funny. To me, they just weren't and had fewer laugh-out-loud moments. I didn't really laugh or start enjoying the books until the final chapters when it felt like the entire tone or focus shifted away from the relationship issues and went back to focusing on the family and what sets Chelsea apart from other female comediennes.
CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is another great collection of stories from the hilarious Chelsea Handler. I brought it on vacation with me and enjoyed the light and easy poolside and beachside reading. I laughed out loud from her viewpoint of "Sex and the City" and many of her other quirky, sarcastic observations.Chelsea is at her best when talking about the weird predicaments that she finds herself in, whether at work, in her social life, or with her family members. Her stories aren't as fun, though, when she's in her "Girls Behaving Badly" role of playing jokes on people. The funniest moments happen when strange things just happen to you. Case in point, Chelsea playing a trick on her boyfriend (Ted Harbert, president and CEO of the Comcast Entertainment Group). Pretending that she accidentally killed a friend's dog wasn't great; it was just okay, mainly because it was a set-up.On the other hand, when she focuses on the idiosyncracies of her father in a couple of tales, it's more humorous because the situation is out of her control. However, I was disappointed that not once did she refer to her father as "b*tch t*ts" like she did in Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. I assumed that was her siblings' ongoing nickname for him...but maybe not?Unfortunately, although a not-to-miss book for Chelsea fans, like her last book, I was waiting for a central theme to the stories to tie them all together. It never came, and neither did any background for the title of the book. I thought for sure it came from a wacky story, but maybe it's just an inside joke that us readers aren't in on.
If you ever wondered about why Chelsea acts the way she does, you have to go back in time to her formative years.To call her family dysfunctional is a giant understatement. If Freud was alive handling this case,, he would in short order vacate the surroundings and admit defeat. Interestingly, Chelsea is quite open about some of her young adventures and the accounts are hilarious. This girl is smart and quick with the one line squelch that takes any rivals' breath away.Do understand this is Chelsea somewhat raw. This isn't a tome directed to children or, for that matter, adults allergic to occasional encounters with nasty words. But whether or not you are a fan of her show, "Chelsea Lately" carried on the E! network,, as long as you have an unimpaired funny bone you will enjoy this book..
...this book is a great way to spend a few more hours with her.A big fan of her show, this is the first of her books that I've read. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but after a few pages, I realized I was simply hearing more of her material that is more detailed and polished, and in some cases a glimpse into her personal life.It's not, nor does it pretend to be, liter-ah-ture. These are sketches from her life embellished with her own ribald brand of wit.I tend to be a prude on the subject of substance abuse, but the predicaments and complications that result from the flagrant use of alcohol, pills and mushrooms are so distressing that there couldn't be a better "warning" of the hazards of unbridled use than what we find on the pages of this book.Alternately between self-deprecating and devilish, Chelsea Handler had me laughing out loud and trying to get anyone within earshot to hurry and read the book so we could all laugh together.
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